Solitude

Solitude is a concept that I have heard of but never practiced before because I never was able to get the whole not talking concept to work with my mouth.  I am a very shy person but when I know people and feel comfortable I can talk nonstop.  I love talking to people about their lives and hearing stories from them, as well as telling them how I am doing and telling them stories.  This discipline was another one that I knew was going to be difficult but was going to be OK in the end.

I chose to attempt to go part of the day without words, essentially I didn't talk unless I desperately had to.  I chose this so that I could feel what God wanted for my life and how words can sometimes not always be the best things to say.  With not having the "ability" to talk, I communicated through mime/motions and found that it is hard to convey what I am thinking or want without words; that words are essential to everyday, but some words can be used as blessings and others as swords to people.  Something I learned was to chose my words carefully and think about how I talk about people; to have the mindset of Christ and not myself.

Simplicity

Simplicity is a spiritual discipline that I have never heard of and when reading Foster I learned that it is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style; it is inward focus and unity.  Foster states that the central point for simplicity is to seek the kingdom of God and the righteousness of His kingdom first and then everything necessary will come in its proper time.

For this discipline, I chose to examine one of Foster's ten controlling principles and apply it to my life.  I chose the second one which states reject anything that is producing an addiction in you; this was a little weird for me because I love buying things that I think i need but i actually don't   For example, I love buying clothes even though I have an abundance of clothes already that I don't even wear.  Going about days and remembering that I am doing this was hard because I, of course, had the mindset that I "needed" that outfit but knew that I couldn't because I wanted to focus on this discipline.  In the end, it was very trying but rewarding because now I think twice about what I am buying and if I really do need it to survive.

Study

The word study to me was something that I always cringed at when I heard it because it meant doing work and trying to succeed; always associated with schoolwork.  I must be truthful and admit that I was not excited about this discipline because it meant I had to really work hard at something to succeed, but in the end I realized that this task wasn't hard to do.  It took time to accomplish but it was time well spent because it was time that I usually spend doing things to just past time like watch TV or movies.

I chose this time to find a Bible passage that I have read before and reread it everyday with a mindset of learning something new.  I chose a passage from 1 Timothy 4:11-16 which says "Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers."  

This passage is something that is dear to my heart because it tells young people to not be afraid and to stand up for what they believe.  This passage motivated me to be more of a leader in things that I would normally not take that role and step out of my comfort zone.

Fasting

Fasting is a discipline that I have done before many times with my youth group at church.  We do a 30-hour famine each year with the students in middle school and high school to raise money for various things.  So fasting from food was something that I have done before and felt like this discipline, this time, I should do something different that is going to be different and not completely easy.

So for the discipline of fasting, I decided to fast from music and shows that is not honoring to God; to basically only listen to Christian music and to watch shows that were appropriate to watch.  This is something that seems not very trying but living in the culture we do today, everything is promoting non-Christian things.  This task was a little hard because some of my favorite songs are not portraying a Christian view and some of my favorite shows as well.  In the end I succeeded and made it through, it was hard at times to not turn on some music or a show that I am use to but instead read the Bible or watched a movie or listened to a Christian song.  I loved this challenge because it made me really conscious of what I was doing and made me evaluate my life.

Prayer

Prayer is something that I have always grown up doing because of living in a Christian environment, always saying a prayer in the morning, at meals, and before bed.  I never thought of prayer being something that you learn as Foster says, "real prayer is something that you learn".  Reading what Foster did with putting together all of the Scripture passages that refer to prayer and then reading them all together was something that was very intriguing to me, something that I wanted to do but never did.

For the prayer I decided to redo having Scripture on me at all times like I did with meditation but chose the two verses that were in the workbook to read, John 15:7 "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." and James 4:3 "You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."  Both these passages struck me when I read them because they convicted me with my way of thinking.  I looked both of them up in different versions to see the differences that there were and all of them were very thought provoking.  I loved having Scripture on me at all times because I felt that I was always able to conquer anything with God's word with me.  This activity is something that I plan on doing more in the future.

Meditation

Meditation is something that I have never thought of doing in my entire life, because I thought it was something that was only done when people wanted to be completely with God.  I never understood why people did it because God was always with us and He was never really absent, so why would you need to spend long periods of time with him.  Not till I talking with friends and reading Foster did I feel as though I had a new sense of understanding for meditation.  It can be many different things beside just spending time with God alone; its reading Scripture, listening to God and not talking at all, looking at creation and realizing God's work and looking at your life and seeing all God has done for you.

For meditation I decided to carry around a Scripture passage to read in times of struggle and times of frustration with worldly things.  I picked out Romans 12:1-3 but focused mostly on verse two. The passage says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you."  This verse was said to me by a friend a while back when I was really struggling and not until reading it daily did I understand it fully.  I don't need to be who the world wants me to be, I just need to be the Christian woman that God wants and that is what I am striving for.

Confession (Part Two)

Well friends, I did it and it was really hard I must admit.  Before I confronted my friend, I informed her that I have something to talk to her about and I left it at that.  Since I have known her for some time, she knew that this was something that needed to be talked about and that I needed to get it out.  I started out by talking to her about the general conversation starters: family, work, friends, life in general, etc.  She answered all my questions and asked them back but by then she had gotten to the point where she was sick of the small talk and wanted to know what was going on.  I was extremely nervous about what I was about to tell her and how to go about telling her, but I did it.  I flat out told her everything and she listened the entire time without saying one word till I was finished.  Then she told me what she thought, offered some assistance if I needed any and then prayed with me.

This experience was very stressful but very enlightening as well because it showed me that there are people out there that care about my well being and want me to succeed in life.  People who want me to live a good Christian life, to be the best Christian I can.  I was completely blessed by this and I will never forget this.  Now, I am still scared to confess to people but this experience has helped ease a bit of the anxiety.